The Worshipful The Mayor of Ipswich
Munia Civitatis Decus Civium
(The functions of citizenship are the glory of the citizens)

That's us folks. Honour, Glory, Decency and Honesty all combined in the symbol of the Mayors ensignia of this town we live in and adore. I have traveled the world working in third world countries where the words above mean nothing at all and all that matters is the amount of bribes a public office brings with it. Patronage is all important everywhere I have worked and to retire back to Ipswich is bliss and of course an opportunity not to bother about being ripped off by public officials such as is common in other countries. We are very lucky indeed to be served by such an honest council who we can trust to spend our money without fear of impropriety at all because our town is straight and honest as are all it's officers and elected councillors who watch out for us and our funds. I have known other places where places like Bridgewood would be bought simply to make personal gains. The owner would be paid over value for the wood and he would then make personal payments to those who authorised his payment. Thank goodness that doesn't happen in Ipswich because that is only the start of what happens. Next somebody has to be employed to look after the place and he wants a budget to cover that duty. Obviously he needs manpower and that manpower needs transport which has to be 'bought' over value so that a bribe can be paid and then the manpower has to be found work to justify increasing their numbers regularly and the numbers of vehicles too (more bribes). Then of course contractors have to be invited to tender to make fences and gates which also have to be 'bought' and bribes paid to those authorising the payments. These gates would need replacing as frequently as possible to enable more to be 'bought' and more bribes paid to those authorising the payments and of course anyone living around about would have to be sweetened with planning permission for building whatever they want to 'buy' it for and before you know it the wood is surrounded by housing estates and whatever and of course everyone doing the 'buying' gets very rich and when they retire they quietly move away from the area to enjoy their luxury paid for by the towns people they were serving. Thanks goodness Ipswich is not like that and our officials are trustworthy and honest. Our many fences and gates are legitimately acquired and erected as are the vehicles and plant used and the wood is disposed of honestly too.
peterturtill@hotmail.com pics at http://www.flickr.com/photos/ipswich/